A few days before Mother’s Day, my husband asked me what I’d
like for a gift. I knew he wanted to show his genuine appreciation and that my
daughters would want to demonstrate their feelings in a concrete way, too. As
is our tradition, they would each give me a sweet card sharing elements of
their love for me and they’d take me out to lunch or dinner. But they wanted to
present me with something tangible to mark the occasion as well.
And I felt truly blessed by his desire to bless me. But I
didn’t know what to say.
A few things I could use or enjoy quickly came to mind: a
new printer, a gift card to a local bookstore, a weekend retreat to catch up on
my scrapbooking. But when I began to think about what I truly need as a mom, I realized it’s not
something my family can wrap up and top with a bow. In fact, it’s not something
they can provide at all.
Simply put, what I need most is an ability to focus each day
on the heart of the matter in terms
of my calling.
Motherhood is not about finishing the laundry or designing
the most well balanced meals. It’s not about the 3,796 diapers a mom changes
for each child. It’s not about the carpool or organizing memorable birthday
parties. It’s not about volunteering in the classroom or finding the ideal
homeschool curriculum. It’s not about enrolling the kids in extracurriculars
and supplemental activities. It’s not about planning “perfect” family
vacations.
Of course, all those tasks (and many more) fill our time.
And each small job has value and purpose, demonstrating our love for our
families in concrete ways. But if we focus on the utilitarian doing of motherhood without remembering
to be in the moments, we’ll miss the
point. We’ll spend our kids’ childhoods exhausted and bitter about all the time
“they’re taking from us” and then wallow in regret once they’re grown. I know
women like that; I never want to become one.
Instead, what I most need as a mom is a growing desire to be
fully present with my kids – mentally
and emotionally – moment by moment. I need my heart to be with them while my mind and body work through the
necessary to-do lists. I need to notice the details as their faces change from
those of girls into young women…to really hear their ideas and questions…to
grasp the intricacies of how each is wired…to put down the work in order to
hold and comfort them.
That’s not something my family can give me. It is God’s gift
to me, ready and waiting. But accepting the gift is a matter of my will – each day and in each moment.
That’s hard because life is so full and busy. But I know that’s the heart of
the matter.
Go here for more ways to make God apart of your everyday life and home, and be sure to link up your own ideas below!
 About the Author: Tina Hollenbeck and her husband Jeff are raising two daughters and have another waiting for them in the arms of Jesus. Before becoming a mom, Tina taught English to immigrant kids in public secondary schools for nine years, but now she cherishes her role as an at-home wife and mother and also advocates passionately for homeschooling. Tina writes regularly for her blog, Being Made New, and is also the staff writer for Celebrate Kids, Inc, a Texas-based ministry to parents and educators. In addition, she’s developing a public speaking ministry of her own, and is available to address homeschoolers, women’s groups, and young people on a variety of topics. In her spare time, Tina enjoys singing on her church’s worship team, exercising, and scrapbooking. |
I hope you had a lovely mother's day :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks!! You too! :)
Delete