{Hope for the Home} Linky Party: The Heart of the Matter

A few days before Mother’s Day, my husband asked me what I’d like for a gift. I knew he wanted to show his genuine appreciation and that my daughters would want to demonstrate their feelings in a concrete way, too. As is our tradition, they would each give me a sweet card sharing elements of their love for me and they’d take me out to lunch or dinner. But they wanted to present me with something tangible to mark the occasion as well.

And I felt truly blessed by his desire to bless me. But I didn’t know what to say.

A few things I could use or enjoy quickly came to mind: a new printer, a gift card to a local bookstore, a weekend retreat to catch up on my scrapbooking. But when I began to think about what I truly need as a mom, I realized it’s not something my family can wrap up and top with a bow. In fact, it’s not something they can provide at all.

Simply put, what I need most is an ability to focus each day on the heart of the matter in terms of my calling.

Motherhood is not about finishing the laundry or designing the most well balanced meals. It’s not about the 3,796 diapers a mom changes for each child. It’s not about the carpool or organizing memorable birthday parties. It’s not about volunteering in the classroom or finding the ideal homeschool curriculum. It’s not about enrolling the kids in extracurriculars and supplemental activities. It’s not about planning “perfect” family vacations.

Of course, all those tasks (and many more) fill our time. And each small job has value and purpose, demonstrating our love for our families in concrete ways. But if we focus on the utilitarian doing of motherhood without remembering to be in the moments, we’ll miss the point. We’ll spend our kids’ childhoods exhausted and bitter about all the time “they’re taking from us” and then wallow in regret once they’re grown. I know women like that; I never want to become one.

Instead, what I most need as a mom is a growing desire to be fully present with my kids – mentally and emotionally – moment by moment. I need my heart to be with them while my mind and body work through the necessary to-do lists. I need to notice the details as their faces change from those of girls into young women…to really hear their ideas and questions…to grasp the intricacies of how each is wired…to put down the work in order to hold and comfort them.

That’s not something my family can give me. It is God’s gift to me, ready and waiting. But accepting the gift is a matter of my will – each day and in each moment. That’s hard because life is so full and busy. But I know that’s the heart of the matter.

Go here for more ways to make God apart of your everyday life and home, and be sure to link up your own ideas below!

About the Author: Tina Hollenbeck and her husband Jeff are raising two daughters and have another waiting for them in the arms of Jesus. Before becoming a mom, Tina taught English to immigrant kids in public secondary schools for nine years, but now she cherishes her role as an at-home wife and mother and also advocates passionately for homeschooling. Tina writes regularly for her blog, Being Made New, and is also the staff writer for Celebrate Kids, Inc, a Texas-based ministry to parents and educators. In addition, she’s developing a public speaking ministry of her own, and is available to address homeschoolers, women’s groups, and young people on a variety of topics. In her spare time, Tina enjoys singing on her church’s worship team, exercising, and scrapbooking.

{Hope for the Home} Linky Party: The Picture-Smart Bible

I had heard about The Picture-Smart Bible when it was first developed several years ago. Then, in May 2010, I had the opportunity to see the program at a convention, and I was instantly hooked. In fact, I took advantage of special convention pricing and purchased the complete set for our family.

So, what is The Picture-Smart Bible? According to the program website, it "is an innovative approach to 'seeing' Scripture as a total entity. This Genesis-to-Revelation course is designed to help participants learn, remember and teach the themes and concepts in each book of the Bible...and have fun in the process!" In other words, it's a complete Bible curriculum presented in a unique format that will engage young children, youth, and adults alike in such a way that they'll actually remember key scriptural ideas.

The Picture-Smart Bible is unique because, unlike any other Bible curriculum of which I'm aware, it's been designed to appeal directly to the powerful picture-smart element in every person's brain.

Specifically, Dan and Juanene Peters, the creators of the program, have developed a one-page blackline drawing to represent each and every book of the Bible. Each drawing incorporates images for all the key events and concepts presented in the book, and detailed notes help a teacher walk her students through a systematic, engaging study of the text. As the teacher explains a particular idea, students activate their brains by tracing and/or coloring the appropriate parts of the drawing until the entire page is colorized as directed. If desired, a student can then use the completed illustration to explain his understanding of the book in his own words, and, thus, activate another powerful memory tool. And, when pictures for every book have been finished, each student will have an illustrated, personalized summary of all of Scripture.

I found with my daughters that taking several days to go through each book was most conducive to absorbing and remembering. So we've chosen to incorporate it as an occasional supplemental homeschool activity - one, I might add, to which they always look forward. As a result, we finish a handful of book pages a year and will be able to enjoy our study for years to come. Others I know have chosen to use The Picture-Smart Bible as a daily component of their homeschool curriculum and, thus, produce completed keepsakes after just a couple of years. In either case, students can look back to a book's summary sheet at any time when they're engaged in other Bible study, so it's a tool they really can use for a lifetime.

But it's not just for homeschoolers. Families whose kids attend school outside the home use The Picture-Smart Bible for family devotions, utilizing it to build both Bible knowledge and family unity. And it's also an excellent resource for Christian schools, Sunday school classes (for children as young as four or five all the way through to adults!), and youth groups; in fact, if a school or church adopted The Picture-Smart Bible for use among all its members, I daresay it would be the most Bible-literate organization for miles around!

Of course, whether in a family or within a school or church, the goal is not mere knowledge. But the fact of the matter is that we must know Scripture in order to really know the Lord, and I can't think of a better tool than The Picture-Smart Bible for parents and teachers who really want to engage kids in that process. Go here for more ways to make God apart of your everyday life and home, and be sure to link up your own ideas below!

About the Author: Tina Hollenbeck and her husband Jeff are raising two daughters and have another waiting for them in the arms of Jesus. Before becoming a mom, Tina taught English to immigrant kids in public secondary schools for nine years, but now she cherishes her role as an at-home wife and mother and also advocates passionately for homeschooling. Tina writes regularly for her blog, Being Made New, and is also the staff writer for Celebrate Kids, Inc, a Texas-based ministry to parents and educators. In addition, she’s developing a public speaking ministry of her own, and is available to address homeschoolers, women’s groups, and young people on a variety of topics. In her spare time, Tina enjoys singing on her church’s worship team, exercising, and scrapbooking.

{Hope for the Home} Linky Party: The Ministry of Presence

This past weekend, my daughters hosted a sleepover for nine of their friends. Actually, this was the second of what appears to have become an annual event for our family, and we ended up nearly doubling the guest list as well as extending the festivities for an additional six hours compared to last year.

Getting ready cost me extra cleaning time, as well as time for shopping, cooking, and baking. It also cost a fair amount of extra money to buy food to feed all those girls for three meals and a rather substantial "tea party." It cost my husband and me a lot time and effort to supervise and guide the girls from early Friday evening through mid-afternoon on Saturday. And it cost us all clean-up time afterward.

But I wouldn't have it any other way.

Way back when my girls were toddlers, a Titus 2 woman in my life advised me to make my home a place where my kids and their friends would want to hang out. She noted that, while I'd likely be able to trust my kids' well-being in the homes of a few other families, I'd be wise to nurture relationships with my children and their friends so they'd choose to be in our home more often than not. I'd know they were safe, and I'd be available to provide necessary guidance and direction. She said it'd be easier to allow them to gather elsewhere - but, of course, wise isn't always easy.

She was right, of course.

I'm not a big fan of sleepovers in general. I know from my own childhood that they can be great fun. But I know from personal experience that the conversations and activities at such events aren't always wholesome, healthy, or God-honoring. And, sadly, I also know that sleepovers can sometimes be fodder for luring kids into hurtful, soul-damaging encounters.

I would, indeed, trust my girls to playdates and even sleepovers at the homes of a couple of close family friends. Of course, even then I err on the side of caution by asking lots of questions about planned activities and how the parents expect to be involved. But the beauty of hosting an event in my home is that I already know the answers - and I know my girls (and their friends) will be safe...body, mind, and soul.

It's not that my husband and I hover; in fact, we let our daughters take the lead in terms of directing the flow of an event they host. At the sleepover, my main, visible task was simply preparing food at the prescribed times.

But we provide the crucial "ministry of presence." That is, though we give the girls and their friends a wide berth, we are available. And we keep our ears and eyes attuned to anything that might require adult intervention. I even camped out in the same room for the actual sleepover portion of the festivities rather than leave the girls alone to their own devices. After all, though my daughters and their friends are lovely, trustworthy young ladies, they are still prone because of their youth to become unwittingly caught up in folly (Proverbs 22.15). So it's a parent's job to provide a better path whenever necessary. And we can only do that when we're present.

You may or may not feel comfortable with sleepovers. But I would urge you to consider making your home a place where your maturing kids will choose to gather with their friends.  And be sure to practice the "ministry of presence" when the kids are there. You're not aiming to become one of the gang, so to speak. But you want your kids and their friends to know they've got an ally in you. And they can only know that if you welcome them in and remain available for them while they're there.

Go here for more ways to make God apart of your everyday life and home, and be sure to link up your own ideas below!

About the Author: Tina Hollenbeck and her husband Jeff are raising two daughters and have another waiting for them in the arms of Jesus. Before becoming a mom, Tina taught English to immigrant kids in public secondary schools for nine years, but now she cherishes her role as an at-home wife and mother and also advocates passionately for homeschooling. Tina writes regularly for her blog, Being Made New, and is also the staff writer for Celebrate Kids, Inc, a Texas-based ministry to parents and educators. In addition, she’s developing a public speaking ministry of her own, and is available to address homeschoolers, women’s groups, and young people on a variety of topics. In her spare time, Tina enjoys singing on her church’s worship team, exercising, and scrapbooking.

{Hope for the Home} Linky Party: The Better Portion

Between Christmas and New Year's, I devoted most of my waking hours to the  major project of de-junking and reorganizing my home. Thus, by New Year's Day, I had at least 15 bags of trash waiting on my curb and a large pile of items for donation in the basement.

I was able to begin 2013 in what felt in some ways like a "new" house because every space north of the basement was scrubbed and in order. And since then I've maintained a daily cleaning schedule such that things are still in very good shape.

But don't think I'm the poster child for "Susie Homemaker." It had actually been months since I'd done any but the most basic of cleaning - and I hadn't previously scrubbed the oven in the six years we've owned the thing. In fact, though I've been married for over 20 years, I've never before had a regular schedule for household chores. I'm very pleased that I persevered through overhauling the whole house, and I've enjoyed keeping to my new daily chore schedule, but I'm not here to encourage you to do the same.

As a matter of fact, it would be a shame for some of you to even consider it. 

My daughters are 10 and 11. So, though they still need me for a great many things - in fact, I homeschool so I've got significant responsibilities with them most days - I'm in a different season of life than those of you with young children. My girls are able to easily entertain themselves for long periods of time, and they can even make simple meals on their own if I'm sometimes otherwise occupied. Thus, I've now got more mental and physical energy to undertake a larger household project without stretching myself too thin. 

But, if any of your kids are under the age of six or seven, you're not there - and that's okay. I know you want to keep a "decent" house so neither you nor your husband is stressed about being there and so you feel comfortable having guests over now and then. But even the most compliant babies, toddlers, and preschoolers demand significantly more time and energy than do school-aged children. So, as a Titus 2 (i.e., older!) woman compared to most of you reading this post, I want to admonish you in love to be real about the limits on your time and to prioritize your key relationships - with the Lord, your husband, and your kids - over the dream of having a spotless house.

I mentioned that I've never before had a regular cleaning schedule. For the first several years of my marriage, I worked outside the home, and we didn't have children. Thus, our house didn't get all that dirty - and my husband and I simply cleaned it together or dumped in a load of laundry whenever we noticed a need. No schedule required.

When our children came along - the second daughter less than a year after the first - I happily became an at-home mom, and I wanted to be a "real homemaker" as well. But I quickly discovered that the girls' physical, emotional, and developmental needs consumed most of my time and energy. I had to use snippets of leftover time just to keep up with basics like simple meal planning and spot cleaning. 

Of course, I could have created a detailed weekly schedule for deeper cleaning as I just did this month. But something would have had to give in the process - if not my time with the girls or the little bit of alone time I carved out for my husband, it would have come from my sleep. But, just like any mom with young kids, I was already exhausted and sleep-deprived. So giving up more rest to scrub bathroom floors like clockwork would have stretched me too far.

I didn't live in a pig sty. I did at least one load of dishes every day, straightened up the main living spaces every evening, and did more significant cleaning when we wanted to invite guests. But I had to learn to ask for help - my husband became the Vacuum King and Mr. Floor Scrubber - and I had to adjust my expectations to match my season of life. So, no, I didn't actually clean my closets or scrub my oven for several years - because my guests didn't go there. And I made peace with closing the doors to certain rooms when company came over. In the rooms where I entertained, things were decent even if chaos reigned on the other side of the wall - and that was truly okay for that season of my life.

{Hope for the Home} is all about ways we might bring Jesus into our homes. And, acknowledging his admonition to Martha (Luke 10.38-42), I don't think it's a stretch at all to remind ourselves that He is, first and foremost, about relationships. Thus, we bring Jesus to our kids by being present - physically and emotionally - for them, according to their needs at different stages of life.

Jesus didn't tell Martha she was sinning by wanting to have a nicely kept home and a good meal for her guest. But He did point out that she was "distracted with much serving" and that Mary had chosen the "better portion." Likewise when we need to choose, He calls us to set aside the dishrag in favor of cuddling up with the kids or going outside to make some mud pies in the January thaw. 

There comes a season when we can manage the deep cleaning in addition to continuing to meet their needs. But until then, be at peace with less-than-pristine showers and sticky cupboards. I know from experience that the security you'll build into your kids' hearts is worth it. And I know you'll bring a smile to the Lord's face in the process.

*****

Jill Savage of Hearts at Home has written a wonderful book - No More Perfect Moms - addressing this topic and others. I encourage you all to look for it starting on February 4, as I believe the insight Jill shares in this little volume can offer the wisdom and freedom that so many tired, stressed, and anxious moms need today. In fact, I'll go so far as to say that this is the book that moms in all seasons of life should read this year.

*****

Go here for more ways to make God apart of your everyday life and home, and be sure to link up your own ideas below!

About the Author: Tina Hollenbeck and her husband Jeff are raising two daughters and have another waiting for them in the arms of Jesus. Before becoming a mom, Tina taught English to immigrant kids in public secondary schools for nine years, but now she cherishes her role as an at-home wife and mother and also advocates passionately for homeschooling. Tina writes regularly for her blog, Being Made New, and is also the staff writer for Celebrate Kids, Inc, a Texas-based ministry to parents and educators. In addition, she’s developing a public speaking ministry of her own, and is available to address homeschoolers, women’s groups, and young people on a variety of topics. In her spare time, Tina enjoys singing on her church’s worship team, exercising, and scrapbooking.

{Hope for the Home}: The Day Before Christmas Eve

December 24. Christmas Eve.

Most of of us will go to church tonight and find ourselves squished into the pews between some familiar faces and a whole lot of folks who only find time to attend on Christmas and Easter. We'll settle the children into their spots and then glance around the dimly lit room: evergreens glittering with tiny white lights, luminaries lining the edge of the platform and, perhaps, colored candles perched on an altar. Before long, we'll hear the familiar strains of "What Child Is This" or "O Little Town of Bethlehem," signaling the start of the service, and then we'll continue following along, carol after carol, striving to really think about the words instead of just singing the memorized melodies. We'll press a silver dollar into each child's sweaty palm as the offering basket nears and watch to see that they all close their eyes when the pastor prays. And we'll listen to the good pastor's exposition of Luke 2 even though we've heard the passage dozens of times before.

It isn't that we don't want to gain new insight; we know the Word is living and active and that the Spirit can teach us new things any time we read even the most familiar verses. In fact, we're desperate for the incredible story to touch our hearts in a new way. And, even more than that, we desperately want our kids to absorb the awesome truth that God - God! - cared about each of us so much that He squeezed His glory into the form of a tiny human baby boy so He could ultimately pay for all our sins.

But ritual can get in the way of revelation - as can the "visions of sugarplums" that have been filling our kids' heads for weeks. Or we may have approached this Christmas distracted by sadness or disappointment over any number of things that haven't gone as we'd hoped. So we worry that we'll go through the motions tonight - one more event to check off the holiday to-do list - but that it won't ultimately impact us or our homes.

And what do we do with that?

Well, we choose to be still. Yes, we may have to assemble or wrap some gifts after the kids go to bed tonight. But there's no use fretting about that during the day. And we needn't bake more cookies, arrange more decorations on the mantel, or run out for "just one more" gift. What we've done so far is good enough. We may have to clean a bit, but we shouldn't lose our whole day to it. Instead, we ought to take some time - setting up the kids with a fun Christmas movie if that's what it takes - so we can have a few minutes peace with Jesus...all by ourselves, without any tinsel or trappings.

We can read Luke 2 - and the beginning of Matthew as well. We can read the passages in Isaiah and Micah that predict the Incarnation, and pull out our children's baby books to imagine the Lord in a similarly humble estate. And then we should quiet ourselves before Him, praying as the Spirit leads but also purposing to simply "be" in His presence.

If we do that instead of running pell-mell through the day as our culture suggests we must, we'll approach tonight's worship services differently. After all, God promises that those who seek Him will find Him, and that's a pledge to busy moms as much as anyone else. And don't forget: it's our example of genuine fellowship with God that will most draw our kids to desire Him as well. So simply purpose to be with Jesus today, and trust that He'll take care of all the rest.


Go here for more ways to make God apart of your everyday life and home!

About the Author: Tina Hollenbeck and her husband Jeff are raising two daughters and have another waiting for them in the arms of Jesus. Before becoming a mom, Tina taught English to immigrant kids in public secondary schools for nine years, but now she cherishes her role as an at-home wife and mother and also advocates passionately for homeschooling. Tina writes regularly for her blog, Being Made New, and is also the staff writer for Celebrate Kids, Inc, a Texas-based ministry to parents and educators. In addition, she’s developing a public speaking ministry of her own, and is available to address homeschoolers, women’s groups, and young people on a variety of topics. In her spare time, Tina enjoys singing on her church’s worship team, exercising, and scrapbooking.

{Hope for the Home}: Shopping Like the Wise Men

Friends marveled when I mentioned on Facebook in early December last year that I’d both started and virtually finished my Christmas shopping in about two hours’ time. I didn’t shop online; instead, I simply picked a night and ventured to a number of brick-and-mortar stores. And I wasn't completely done when I posted the status, but via that one outing and then one other quick foray into one store a week later, I obtained everything for my two daughters and the two girls I babysat, as well as most of what I’d planned to purchase for my husband and a few other relatives.

I’m definitely not “Superwoman,” and I don’t even like to shop. In fact, being forced to go out on Black Friday would be tantamount to torture for me. But nearly wrapping up my shopping was easy…because the list was short by design.

You see, since our girls were little, my husband and I have determined to follow the Three Gifts Rule. That is, each family member receives just three gifts each year, a tradition that originates in the fact that the wise men brought three gifts to Jesus. Truth be told, we’ve stretched the rule a bit with our girls since we’ve allowed them to believe in Santa. But, even so, Santa brings each girl three gifts – plus a few stocking stuffers – and we (as parents) give each girl three more gifts. My husband and I each receive three gifts and a couple of stocking stuffers, and once the girls give up the Santa myth, we’ll do the same for them. And that’s it.

Of course, our reasons for embracing this tradition go far beyond my aversion to shopping. On the one hand, we actually do it to discourage materialism. And, most importantly of all, we desire to keep our children’s Christmas focus – and our own – on Jesus rather than on “stuff.”

And no one feels deprived. Of course, if we’d overindulged in the past and suddenly instituted the Three Gifts Rule as a new tradition, it would take some getting used to on everyone’s part. But I firmly believe that the lack of stress and a shift away from any looming entitlement attitude building within my children would make the process well worth the effort.

Perhaps you’ve already taken similar steps toward growing true gratitude and a focus on Jesus in your own family at this time of year. I’d love to hear of your specific traditions. But if, on the other hand, this idea is new to you but intriguing, I encourage you to give it some serious thought; if you and your husband agree, you can even start a new tradition this year.

As for the 15 gifts already hiding in your bedroom closet – and the list of several more “must-haves”…well, pre-Christmas returns don’t take long…and wrapping paper for upcoming birthdays doesn’t cost much.

Photo Credit: sirqitous

Go here for more ways to make God apart of your everyday life and home!

About the Author: Tina Hollenbeck and her husband Jeff are raising two daughters and have another waiting for them in the arms of Jesus. Before becoming a mom, Tina taught English to immigrant kids in public secondary schools for nine years, but now she cherishes her role as an at-home wife and mother and also advocates passionately for homeschooling. Tina writes regularly for her blog, Being Made New, and is also the staff writer for Celebrate Kids, Inc, a Texas-based ministry to parents and educators. In addition, she’s developing a public speaking ministry of her own, and is available to address homeschoolers, women’s groups, and young people on a variety of topics. In her spare time, Tina enjoys singing on her church’s worship team, exercising, and scrapbooking.

{Hope for the Home}: Halloween - What If You Don't Partake?

I have found over the years that Christ-followers' opinions about Halloween run the gamut. On the one hand, some folks enjoy dressing their kids in spangled costumes and traipsing them around the neighborhood to collect as much candy as their buckets can hold. And I even know at least one family whose teens are allowed to participate at local haunted houses - decked out in gory costumes and make-up - because they're run for charity. But, on the other end of spectrum, there are those who avoid any involvement in the traditions of the day due to concerns about their children's health, or because of a desire to avoid even the appearance of participating with satanic or Pagan practices.

Ultimately, I believe the decision to join in or not can be described as "a Romans 14 & 15 issue." That is, each family must take responsibility for seeking the Lord's wisdom and guidance and must then comply with the Holy Spirit's convictions on the matter. We ought not go along with our surrounding culture just to avoid making waves, but neither should those who've opted out assume that those who participate have fallen away from the Lord. Scripture calls us to be iron sharpening iron with other believers (Proverbs 27.17), so it's permissible to have respectful, uplifting conversations about this topic and any other, but we can - and should - do so without judging, from whatever angle we approach the day.

All that said, my family has come to the conclusion that the Lord doesn't want us to participate, and He's helped us to delineate specific reasons for our conviction. The decision hasn't come without angst; we've had to explain ourselves to "concerned" relatives, tolerate eyebrow-raising from friends (knowing they're probably talking about us behind their closed doors), and help our kids come up with polite answers to the inevitable, "So, what are you going to be for Halloween?" question they must field several times every October. But, ultimately, we all have peace that we've made the right decision for our family.

How do we manage when Halloween is splashed all around us from the day after Labor Day until November 1?

• My girls are "sensitive." So when they were younger, they were very disturbed by the extremely gory displays in some stores. Thus, rather than subject them to unnecessary stress and the inevitable subsequent nightmares, I frequented stores with less prominent displays whenever possible; I even sought out and thanked the store managers for their sensitivity. When I had to visit stores with exaggerated displays - such as the local convenience store a block from my house - I purposed to go only when my husband could be home with the girls...and I politely told the store managers there why they'd see less of me (and my money) until after Halloween. That inconvenienced me - and it wasn't always fun to speak up, no matter how kindly - but it was a small price to pay for my kids' emotional well-being;

• We've chosen not to participate in "alternative" events (i.e., church-sponsored Harvest Festivals and the like). I know many do so in good conscience, but for us those events have felt like "Halloween Lite," and we haven't felt comfortable attending. Instead, we've always spent the two months from Labor Day until Thanksgiving thoroughly engrossed in fall fun: apple picking, nature walks, making leaf collections, creating a wide variety of crafts, watching football, and baking, for example. We continue in that vein even now, and the girls have never felt they were "missing out." Though their fun varies from that of some of their friends, it's quite fun nonetheless, and it's also demonstrated for them that "different" isn't bad;

• As the girls have matured, we've used the occasion of Halloween to initiate discussions about cultural and religious differences among various groups of people. We've explained how - because of our faith - we wouldn't participate in Ramadan or Diwali even if we lived in Saudi Arabia or India, respectively. And so, in the same way, we don't mark Halloween because, at root, it's a celebration of the Pagan religion. When they've asked why some Christians do participate, we've been able to share our understanding of Romans 14 & 15, all of which has been very profitable for their spiritual development;

• In the last couple of years, we've begun to recognize Reformation Day as a family, reading biographical stories about Martin Luther and discussing other aspects of that cultural transformation throughout Europe. Some folks I know even have Reformation Day parties, and others focus on All Saints' Day or choose to use the month of October to learn about heroes of the faith, from Esther and Daniel to modern-day missionary friends and everyone in between;

• As I said, we're not big on "alternate celebrations," but we also didn't want to spend October 31 each year either ignoring our doorbell or cowering in the dark so no one would stop by. Thus, we've opted to go out for a family dinner each year on that night, timing our outing to coincide with trick-or-treating hours. The girls know why we go out, but we've never made a big deal of it (i.e., "Hurry! We have to get out before the trick-or-treaters come!"). So it really has become just an enjoyable family tradition we happen to do on that day.

As with anything else, working out our faith in this area is a process; the practical application of our conviction develops and changes over time. Along the way I found a resource - Redeeming Halloween: Celebrating without Selling Out by Kim Wier and Pam McCune - that informed some of our decisions. I recommend it as a helpful guide for all Christian families because the authors address both sides of the issue: how to partake in a Christian manner and how to abstain without making one's children feel deprived.

Of course, in either case, we should seek to use October 31 as we should any other day: to grow in our own faith as Christian parents and to train up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. And rest assured; if He leads you away from celebrating Halloween, there is a reason for it, and He'll care for your family in the process.

Photo Credit: Germany is Wunderbar

Go here for more ways to make God apart of your everyday life and home!

About the Author: Tina Hollenbeck and her husband Jeff are raising two daughters and have another waiting for them in the arms of Jesus. Before becoming a mom, Tina taught English to immigrant kids in public secondary schools for nine years, but now she cherishes her role as an at-home wife and mother and also advocates passionately for homeschooling. Tina writes regularly for her blog, Being Made New, and is also the staff writer for Celebrate Kids, Inc, a Texas-based ministry to parents and educators. In addition, she’s developing a public speaking ministry of her own, and is available to address homeschoolers, women’s groups, and young people on a variety of topics. In her spare time, Tina enjoys singing on her church’s worship team, exercising, and scrapbooking.

{Hope for the Home}: Summer Days

Every year at this time, I see at least one version of a perennial newspaper cartoon. Details and drawing styles differ, but the theme is the same: In the first frame, children burst forth from school doors, grinning and shouting, “It’s summer! Now what?” In the second, a mom hunches over, lamenting, “It’s summer! Now what?”

Each time I see this, I cringe because I resent the message it conveys – that moms should or actually do dislike being with their children. And – taken a step further – it insinuates there’s something “wrong” with us if we enjoy our kids...because, according to these cartoons, “normal” women just want to escape.

This twist on reality isn’t accurate. Sure, we get tired. But most moms love their children deeply. We became moms because we were called to do so for myriad reasons, and we cherish family time. That side of mothering is rarely portrayed in pop culture, and that irks me.

On the other hand, I understand the one level of truth illustrated in the cartoons: We moms sometimes do tire of the continual demands placed upon us. So summer days can sometimes seem very long indeed. We wonder what to do all day, especially when our kids complain of boredom…and all the more, perhaps, this year when many of us cannot afford expensive diversions.

To deal with those realities, I have three suggestions.

First, investigate cheap local venues and schedule one outing a week. For example, my mid-sized city has a nice amusement park where rides cost about fifty cents each. We also have a handful of water parks that cost a few dollars per visit and dozens of free wading pools where even "tweens" can enjoy splashing around on a hot day. In addition, a number of nearby hobby farms offer tours, and one bowling alley boasts an amazing deal, no strings attached: free bowling all summer long for school-aged kids. With a bit of sleuthing, you can certainly unearth similar opportunities where you live.

Second, brainstorm activities your child can do at home when boredom strikes: bead projects, cheap wooden models, reading, sidewalk chalk, and biking come immediately to my mind, to name a few. Then post the list in a handy spot and pull it out when whining starts. Be clear that you expect your child to try something on the list and, before too long, something will pique his interest. He’ll get going on the project and may even branch off to something from his own imagination.

Which brings up my third suggestion: Don’t always come to the rescue. In our instant-gratification-entertain-me culture, kids might expect us to spoon-feed them their fun. But they need opportunities to discover for themselves how to occupy their time in meaningful ways – a skill they’ll never develop if we program their entire lives for them. So sometimes do what our own parents did: send them outside or upstairs with an assignment to simply “find something to do.” They’ll grumble at first, but don’t give in. Stand your ground, and then take a peek 20 minutes later; you’ll soon see Legos or paper dolls pulled from the back of the closet…or spy your child studying the habits of an ant colony or simply lying on her back gazing at passing clouds.

With those strategies under your belt, I predict you won’t very often find yourself in the company of the sad cartoon mom. Instead, you’ll enjoy some sweet quality time with your kids this summer, just as you desire to…because you love them to pieces. And – when they’re off discovering their own pleasures – you’ll even find bits of time to find refreshment in a few of your own pursuits.

Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him. Psalm 127:3

About the Author: Tina Hollenbeck and her husband Jeff are raising two daughters and have another waiting for them in the arms of Jesus. Before becoming a mom, Tina taught English to immigrant kids in public secondary schools for nine years, but now she cherishes her role as an at-home wife and mother and also advocates passionately for homeschooling. Tina writes regularly for her blog, Being Made New, and is also the staff writer for Celebrate Kids, Inc, a Texas-based ministry to parents and educators. In addition, she’s developing a public speaking ministry of her own, and is available to address homeschoolers, women’s groups, and young people on a variety of topics. In her     spare time, Tina enjoys singing on her church’s worship team, exercising, and scrapbooking.

{Hope for the Home}: Nighttime Discipling

I'm Tina Hollenbeck from Being Made New, and I'm honored that Erin has asked me to contribute to this {Hope for the Home} series.

I've been married for a long time (!) and am Momma to three girls: Anna Vivian - who is with Jesus but who is still, nonetheless, a very real part of our family - and our "Irish twins," Rachel and Abigail, who will soon turn 11 and 10, respectively. Before being blessed with my girls, I served as a missionary to the public schools (i.e., I was a classroom teacher), but am now passionate about the call God has given me to be an at-home mom and homeschool educator.

To help financially, I've also provided in-home childcare for several years; I currently have a five-year old, her 13-month old sister, and another (10-week old) baby. That's worked out pretty well over the years, as I basically operate as if the little ones are part of my own "full quiver." But there's no doubt about it: At the end of the day - any day - I am tired!

So I must acknowledge my great dismay about a year ago, when Rachel - who has always been a rather light sleeper - developed anxiety-induced insomnia. And it was even more upsetting that the only salve for her angst was for me - not my husband - to lay down with her as she dozed off. Admittedly, I didn't handle this very maturely; in fact, it's safe to say I threw more than one spiritual temper tantrum: "Come on, God! It's not like the child doesn't see me during the day. In fact, I'm with her all.day.long! I am so tired; I just want a little of my own time at night!"

To make matters worse, I sometimes vented these feelings to Rachel herself. Not every night, but more often than I really want to admit, I stomped upstairs to implore her: "I've taught you a boatload of relaxation techniques, including talking to Jesus. Can't you just get to sleep by yourself for a change?" And I'm sure she sensed my exasperated body language even when I didn't speak with words.

For a while, things seemed to get better, and I thought the "phase" had passed. But it came roaring back a couple months ago. In fact, the intensity of her anxiety and the nightly length of her insomnia seemed far greater than before. And one night my frustration spilled over again, such that I actually spent well over half an hour - starting at midnight! - scolding her as she sobbed. Sadly, in the midst of my rant, I even said, "You're going to have to figure out what you need to make this stop. I can't do it anymore!"

By the light of day the next morning, I felt horrible for my rant, so I pulled her aside and confessed my sins of selfishness and anger. Always quick to forgive, she hugged me tightly and we cried together. And then she said, "I thought about what you said, and I think I know what would help. If you pray with me when you come up, I think that's what I need."

We do pray together several times each day, and my husband prays with both girls as he does their usual bedtime routine. So I'd never considered that I ought to pray with Rachel again during my nightly check-in with her. But she was right: She needed specific prayer asking the Lord to calm her heart and mind. And she apparently needed it to come from her momma.

So we altered our routine. Instead of just laying with her - trying to calm her in my strength - I began to pray for her each night, asking the Lord to be her strength and her peace. I also specifically pray in Jesus' name that satan will be bound from her, because I quickly realized the issue could, at times, be spiritual warfare. Lo and behold, Rachel noticeably calmed immediately after our first nights' prayers, such that I was able to leave after just a few minutes instead of having to stay for a prolonged time. And she got to sleep very quickly every night for a couple of weeks!

She still has occasional rough nights, but now they occur once or twice a month instead of four or five times a week. And I've been able to use those opportunities to remind her that God is not a genie - so that, if He chooses to withhold sleep for a time on some nights, He has a reason for it. She's not always happy with that answer, but she understands about His sovereignty and has even thought through possible reasons why He wants her awake at times. So, when that happens, she is much less prone to get overly anxious, and she even seeks Him out herself after I've left.

I still sometimes feel selfish about my time, but, honestly, our simple nightly prayer time has changed my perspective on the whole thing, too. First, God used it to demonstrate again how bonded my daughter is to me - a cherished truth because I'm the product of a dysfunctional home where my mother virtually ignored me. Second, I've seen clearly that He intends me to be Jesus' arms for my girl when she needs comfort. In other words, it's not enough to implore a child to "talk to Jesus;" most need a physical connection with Him, and that's the part we provide. Finally, my faith has been strengthened as I've witnessed His provision for Rachel through our prayers.

In fact, our nightly time together has morphed from something I dreaded to one of my favorite times of day with her. Now we sometimes talk about an issue that bothered her during the day, and I'll include prayer for that as well. Or she asks deep questions about the ways of the world or God's character. So we have incredibly meaningful conversations that don't seem to happen during the day, despite the fact that we're together all the time. Sometimes our new chat-and-pray routine lasts for just 10 to 15 minutes; other times, it's much longer.

Now, especially if we've had several consecutive longer conversations or if Rachel has a hard night and needs me to stay later than usual, I still sometimes struggle with feeling selfish about my time. In fact, I know it's important for me - and any full-time mom - to have alone-time on a regular basis, so it's not wrong to crave that and ask the Lord to provide it. But the difference for me lately - instituted only since I listened to the wisdom God imparted to a tired, sad 10-year old girl - is that I am more at peace with trusting Him for that time instead of grasping for it myself.

I hope and pray that my time with Rachel each night is part of her process of growing closer to Jesus; in fact, I'm recalling conversations from years ago with older moms about the importance of that late-night mother-daughter time, so I'm confident it's a very good thing for Rachel. Not only for her, though, as I also know without a doubt that it's been a significant part of my spiritual walk lately, too. This nighttime discipling is, in fact, for both of us.